Saturday 15 May 2010

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me..


You know that I'll be, your pa-pa-paparazzi.

You go, Putin. You beast.

My head is a big, scary place. It scares me sometimes. Not only is it full of words that would only make me sound like a pompous twat, but there's things in there I'm not proud of. There's so many dark things, so many words that terrify me. Nasty, ugly thoughts. But what do I do? How do you run from yourself? I really don't know.

What am I even doing anymore? Drink, drunk, fall over, collapse. And repeat.

I need to sort my life out. Get a boyfriend, get a reality check and get a fucking smile on my face. For god's sake, I need to cheer up.

Hmmm, I like it when my nail polish is all chipped and half-bitten off. It's beautifully ugly.

Oh god. Ashes to Ashes. ASHES TO FUCKING ASHES.



Sam. Oh my god. Sam.
Sam Tyler.
Sam bloody Tyler.
It's SAM.
THAT'S SAM TYLER RIGHT THERE OH MY GOD.
He's right there, knocking on the window of Gene's office, oh god - I can't take much more of this. One more week and we find out everything. Jesus Christ.

I miss you, Sam.

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